It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
