Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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