after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
