kristin has been a bad kristin
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
