butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
