Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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