Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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