party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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