sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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