I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
