I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
