How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
