My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
