idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
