Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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