you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
