We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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