Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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