I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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