drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
