Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
