He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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