It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
