Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
