Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
