Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
