You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
