All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
