I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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