Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
