You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
