just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
