The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
