Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
