twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
