it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
