I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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