I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
