apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
