Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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