my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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