let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
