just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
