Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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