i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
porn star boner night. come get it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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