we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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