I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
