ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
