im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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