...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
